My Boy Best Friend

My best friend is a boy - there I've said it.....is that so weird??? I didn't think so, but apparently I'm in a majority of one. I've known Tobi for ages, I can't remember a time when we weren't friends, he just seemed easier to talk to than all the girls I hung around with. My mum hates him - well she doesn't really hate him, but she wishes we weren't so close, she thinks he's a saboteur - preventing me from being with my husband. According to my mum, I would be married if not for Tobi. I'm not talking to other boys, because I'm always talking to Tobi, instead of going on dates, I'm hanging out with Tobi. In vain do I tell her that there is nothing going on btw us, that we are just friends, but somehow it doesn't seem to compute. You think she would have gotten it by now, cos Tobi and I have been friends for that long.......

Unlike me, Tobi is more successful with the opposite sex. Well, I don't know if successful is the word that I would use for him, lets just say that he has no trouble getting their attention, them keeping his, is more of a problem. Speaking of problems - try being the best friend girl of a guy that has a girlfriend!!! Tobi's girlfriends never quite know what to make of me, they usually as a rule, follow one of two tactics - they hate me, or they pretend to love me. I prefer the ones that hate me, cos at least they aren't fake. They don't like the fact that we are so close and that we have all these shared memories, and that he tells me everything - and some of them say this straight out, and tell him that they would prefer it if we didn't spend so much time together. The other group pretend to love me - their strategy is to become real close to me, and call me up all the time and find out what Tobi has been telling me that he hasn't been telling them.

As for me, I just take it all in stride, I've seen quite a lot of ladies come and go, and I've learnt to deal with it as a joke. I hear about them when they come, i.e, when he's thinking about dating them, and has decided that they are the only woman in the world for him, and I hear about them when they go - when he decides that the world is bigger than he thought.

Having read what I just wrote, I'm afaid that I'm making my friend seem like some kind of player, and he isn't. There have been a few girls, but he's a really nice guy, good looking, tall, christian and a doctor. For a lot of people that's too much man to resist, and so the girls come, and he's interested, and then he's not......hmm, maybe he does have player tendencies.....I need to talk to him about that later.....

The thing that Joke and co (his exes ) don't understand is that our relationship isn't one full of tension or chemistry. We are comfortable with each other- so much so that he never notices me like a girl or anything like that - and he's the dearest friend I have in the world. We've been through a lot together - the death of a parent, unemployment, failed relationships (with other people)that we get each other, no romance included. Now what's so weird about that???

I heard a word........

The other day I was listening to that Michelle song - wow, I don't even know her full name, well Michelle from destiny's child- she did a song called I heard a word, and since then the song has been reverberating in my mind. Maybe because it's the New Year, and haven been to a new year service, and heard a lot of new year messages, everyone's been talking about the word for the year, translation - what God is saying about the year in relation to individuals.

The whole hearing God thing is strange/scary - now don't get me wrong, I believe in God, and I believe he speaks and everything, but how in the world do you know if you are really hearing God, or just hearing what you want to hear.



A pastor I know always talks about girls hearing God when it comes to relationships, and he say's suprisingly, when the guy is good looking, tall, has a good job - it's very easy to 'hear God', however when the guy isn't so 'ready made', somehow the girls become hard of hearing!!

It's confusing, because sometimes you want something so bad, you convince yourself it's God's will for you, and that's what God wants, and then you find out, um, maybe it isn't because that man that you've been saying is God's will for you, is actually getting married to some babe in Nigeria!!!

Like I say, it's hard to know when it's God, and when it's just a manifestation of your own desires, it's hard, but it's not impossible - for example, take my friend Michael - for months he's been saying that he feels that God is asking him to leave his job and strike out on his own - it sounded incredibly like his own desire talking, (especially since he first started talking about it after a particularly hard day at work), but he insisted that had nothing to do with it, and that he really felt a strong leading to leave his well paid, path to promotion job. We - Me and some of his other friends were a bit taken aback, but faced with such conviction, we couldn't really raise much of an argument - and then something happened which knocked all the wind out of our sails - See, Michael had been saying for months that God wanted him to leave, but he couldn't pluck up the courage to strike out on his own, he kept talking himself out of it and going back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth some more, and then one day we were at a church service, and the pastor was preaching, and he suddenly turns to Michael, (who's never spoken to him before in his life)- and say's God is telling you to leave that job, why are you still there? And then he continued preaching like nothing had happened. We were all like, Oh, my goodness, did you hear that??? Michael went to work the next day and handed in his notice, I guess he was sure he heard a word..........



Just in case you guys want the song reverberating through your heads......

Heard A Word

"Dun dun du du du du dun unh La da da da da da
Listen,You know I've had my share of ups and downs,
You live and learn, this world keeps on turning round,
Sometimes those rainy days
Seem like they last forever
Wish I could turn the page,And move on (and move on)

Been longing for the days when you used to sit here talking,(All through the night)
Trynna keep my spirits high so I can walk in,(into your life)
Used to be right next to me all the things you dream about when you're retained,
Now it seems like everything's so far away,
Then one day you know


I heard a word,Saying, Girl you'll be fine,
I heard a word,That would ease my troubled mind.
Took all the hurt away,Warmed me up inside like a summer day,
So glad you said you'd never break your promises,
I thank you Lord,I thank you God.


Cause everybody needs (needs)Somebody stand by their side,
You look at the road,It's get rough,Still you say to yourself,Gotta drive.
Now I'm ready for the vibe,Send a little help; let your angels fly, (fly)
Heard the words deep down inside,I will survive,
I'm stronger cause

I heard a word,Saying, Girl you'll be fine,
I heard a word,That would ease my troubled mind.
Took all the hurt away,
Warmed me up inside like a summer day,
So glad you said you'd never break your promises.
You promise me you love me (love me)
You promise me you bless me (bless me)
You said to me that on you shoulder I could cry,
And if I did you dry my eyes and hold me,
I'm so glad that you took all the hurt away, (took all the hurt away)
Warmed me up inside,
So glad that you never break your promises.

You got me singing la la la la da oh oh oh oh oh oh
Sing la la la da da oh oh oh oh oh oh ooh ooh

You took, you took my,took all the hurt away, (my hurt away)
Warmed me up inside (warmed me up inside like a summer day)
So glad you said you'd never break your promises. (oh oh oh ooh oh ah)

I heard a word,Saying, Girl you'll be fine,
I heard a word, (I heard a word)That would ease my troubled mind.
Took all the hurt away, (warmed me up inside like a summer day)
Warmed me up inside, (yes you did)