I used to be engaged. His name was Richard Jones, and he was perfect. He was tall, gorgeous, he had a good job, he was nigerian (imp to the parentals), was a christian, and he loved me, but he wasn't the one.........
Has that ever happened to you? When everything seems that it should be right, but somehow its not??
I met Richard when I was in school, and by school I mean university. I was at one of those parties, that every student seems to congregate at. The room was dark, (when isn't it?), and I was just thinking to myself, what in the world am I still doing at this party, when I heard a voice say behind me ( and I kid you not)... "I saw you in my dreams" I KNOWWWWWWWWWW!!! So I spun round, about to give the evil eye to this corny, cheesy, dude, and I turn and I look at this 6'3, absolutely gorgeous guy, with cheekbones to die for, and the most devastating smile, which he was flashing at me, and the insult I was supposed to fire at him, died in my throat, and what I came out with was......so what was I doing in your dream? All the while batting my eyelashes flirtatiously - or so I thought, until he asked if something was in my eye?
Well that was where it started, we exchanged numbers and he called me the next day, none of this three day rule nonsense ( I hate that), and we talked, and talked. He was an engineer (but you knew that already - well unless you thought he was a doctor or a lawyer) in the making, and it was his final year, but he had already got his job sorted out. He was a christian, and shared the same beliefs and values I did. He got on with my friends, well I didn't know Ronke then, but he got on with Tobi and Michael, and the girls I was hanging out with then - Yetunde and Laura ( side note to myself, need to call those girls sometime), he got on with my family. My mother absolutely LOVED him, she adored him, I think she liked him more than me. It was like she wished she could be my age so she could go back and marry him (and if she ever reads this blog, that was a joke ma). Sounds perfect doesn't it?
Well it was and it wasn't. All through the Richard thing I felt like I was rushed along, you know like everything was just moving too fast, like I was getting carried away, and I never got any time to think it through. He was always doing the grandest things, he was a big one for grand gestures, and that's nice and all, but I didn't always like it. I know some of you are reading this thinking, is this girl mad? That's what everyone at the time thought, I thought my mum was going to commit me when it ended. And with all the fore-shadowing I've done, you guys know the relationship ended.
Richard was perfect, but not for me. I don't know if I want to be married to someone perfect anyway. I liked him, but my heart wasn't in it, but I went along with it for so long, because I kept on rationalising it, and cos everyone kept on saying, you are so lucky, he's so nice. And I wish I could sit here and tell you that in private he was awful to me - cos at least it would make more sense, but he wasn't. He was nice, he just wasn't the one. I'm a christian, and I believe that people have to be led by the spirit. Well my spirit had no peace, there was no leading or nothing to make me believe that this man was the one I was supposed to spend the REST OF MY LIFE WITH!!!
I take marriage very seriously, and I never want to be divorced, so I have to be sure, surer than sure to make that kind of committment, and I just never felt like that. So I hear you ask, if you felt this way, why did you get engaged?
Well, I got engaged, because the stupid guy only went and proposed to me in front of EVERYONE!!! (I HATE, HATE,HATE PUBLIC PROPOSALS) It was my birthday, on one of those ages that everyone comes. It was a huge party, organised by him, and there was a section in the party where I had to open my presents, and his was a book, that detailed the story of us, with pictures, and poems, and momentos from our relationship ( and now you are thinking this girl is certifiable), and I was looking down at the book, thinking awwwwww, how sweet, when I hear the whole party shouting, and so I look up, and there is Richard, on his knees holding out this ring box, and I'm stuck, because at this time I'm having all these doubts, but what can you say- all your family is there, some of his, every friend you both ever have, your mother is looking like she's going to faint from excitement, he's just given you this amazing present, and the guy is frigging on his knees, holding some nice diamond. I dare you to say no.......
Well maybe you would but I didn't, I guess I'm not as brave as you.............
I'll continue this next week........
Friday, 29 February 2008
Thursday, 14 February 2008
Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism is defined in the dictionary as deriving pleasure from one's own pain. I think I've become a master at it. How else can you explain my love for romantic comedies aka chick flicks, and love stories? Why do I do this to myself???
This is no new development, my self-inflicted pain goes back a long time. When I was a kid I used to read Mills and Boons. You know the ones, girl meets guy. Guy is impossibly good-looking, but with a stubborn streak, girl is a ravishing beauty but very independent. They meet, they hate each other, then they love each other, then they have sex in the middle of the book ( I used to skip those parts), then they have a big fall-out, usually because they are at cross purposes, but they make up by the end, and they both live happily ever after. M&B's were so formulaic, that it seemed like anyone could write them, but I was a sucker for them every time. I even read the nigerian version - pacesetters....(By the way does anybody know if those books exist anymore?). As I grew up into the ravishing beauty that the M&B's said I was, my story didn't seem to follow the formula. The guys were not impossibly handsome, stubborn yes, but not in a good way, if we fought, that was the end, and the happy ever after bit, just wasn't happening. Don't tell me Penny Jordan lied - that I wouldn't find my Prince Charming after overcoming a few difficulties? Say it isn't so?
Well, it was so, and I grew older and I stopped reading M&B's, but I continued to read the type, and then there were the movies. With the books, I had to imagine the romance, with the films, there it was right before my eyes, and I watched them all. I watched pretty woman, house arrest, bird on a wire, while you were sleeping, you name it - if it was billed as romantic I was at video net trying to rent it. Watching these movies, I started to think to myself, you mean the prostitute, pathalogical liar, con-woman, and fake fiance, can get the man of their dreams, but I can't? It just didn't seem fair.
Life just isn't fair, it wasn't fair in the movies as well, but somehow it seemed to work out for them. I mean, it wasn't fair that Julia Roberts had to overcome all those problems, which led her to become a prostitute, but what do you know, she ended up with Richard Gere, so I guess it turned out all right ( I have seen pretty woman, a record number of times). The thing about reading these books and watching these movies, is that you are transported to a world where everything works out in the end, yeah you have misunderstandings, but love conquers all. The men aren't afraid to say how they feel, and the women are vulnerable enough to accept it. You spend 2-3 hours watching the film, or reading the book, and then it ends, and you are back to reality, and that stupid boy still doesn't know you exist, or you are spending another saturday night at home. Or it's valentines day and you're all alone.................
This is no new development, my self-inflicted pain goes back a long time. When I was a kid I used to read Mills and Boons. You know the ones, girl meets guy. Guy is impossibly good-looking, but with a stubborn streak, girl is a ravishing beauty but very independent. They meet, they hate each other, then they love each other, then they have sex in the middle of the book ( I used to skip those parts), then they have a big fall-out, usually because they are at cross purposes, but they make up by the end, and they both live happily ever after. M&B's were so formulaic, that it seemed like anyone could write them, but I was a sucker for them every time. I even read the nigerian version - pacesetters....(By the way does anybody know if those books exist anymore?). As I grew up into the ravishing beauty that the M&B's said I was, my story didn't seem to follow the formula. The guys were not impossibly handsome, stubborn yes, but not in a good way, if we fought, that was the end, and the happy ever after bit, just wasn't happening. Don't tell me Penny Jordan lied - that I wouldn't find my Prince Charming after overcoming a few difficulties? Say it isn't so?
Well, it was so, and I grew older and I stopped reading M&B's, but I continued to read the type, and then there were the movies. With the books, I had to imagine the romance, with the films, there it was right before my eyes, and I watched them all. I watched pretty woman, house arrest, bird on a wire, while you were sleeping, you name it - if it was billed as romantic I was at video net trying to rent it. Watching these movies, I started to think to myself, you mean the prostitute, pathalogical liar, con-woman, and fake fiance, can get the man of their dreams, but I can't? It just didn't seem fair.
Life just isn't fair, it wasn't fair in the movies as well, but somehow it seemed to work out for them. I mean, it wasn't fair that Julia Roberts had to overcome all those problems, which led her to become a prostitute, but what do you know, she ended up with Richard Gere, so I guess it turned out all right ( I have seen pretty woman, a record number of times). The thing about reading these books and watching these movies, is that you are transported to a world where everything works out in the end, yeah you have misunderstandings, but love conquers all. The men aren't afraid to say how they feel, and the women are vulnerable enough to accept it. You spend 2-3 hours watching the film, or reading the book, and then it ends, and you are back to reality, and that stupid boy still doesn't know you exist, or you are spending another saturday night at home. Or it's valentines day and you're all alone.................
Movie Night Reloaded
Can I just say that I am Legend, was awfullllllllllllllllll!!!!!! I dreamt of a rabid dog chasing me all night
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Movie Night
Every fortnight or so my best friends and I have a movie night. It started a year ago, and for some strange reason its stuck. The way movie night works is that each of us takes it in turn to choose a movie that all of us have to watch in the cinema. It can be great or it can be awful, depending on who's doing the choosing, and can I just say men have the worst taste in movies. Everytime I watch a rubbish movie, its on Tobi or Michael's turn. Michael is single handedly trying to watch all the action movies ever created, including all the sequals, so on his turn we have watched, Rocky 20 or whatever number they are on now, the bourne identity 3 (which actually wasn't that bad), die hard 4, and at the moment he's anxiously waiting for Rambo 70 to come out in London, so he can drag us to go and watch it.
Tobi on the other hand likes gross out 'comedies', and I use the word comedy in the loosest sense of the word, because these things are just not funny. Please, I ask you, what's funny about fart jokes, falling down, being inappropriate, Adam Sandler?? Cos I don't get it, but Tobi does, so on his turn, we have been subjected to Click, all those dumb Will Farrell movies about ice skating, motor car driving and bull fighting- for all I know, as I never pay attention, its' just Mr Farrell in the same movie over and over again, the sports are interchangeable. The worst one recently was goodbye chuck -an apt title we thought, as we walked out midway through the movie- even he had to agree on this one. Why can't guys like deep and meaningful movies??
Ronke likes cartoons and so recently she's taken us to see the Simpsons movie, Ratatouille and Shrek 3 (which was rubbish), talking animals are her thing, so Disney was created for her, you should see her break down during finding Nemo, and I didn't know her then, but she told me that when (spoiler alert) Mufasa died in the Lion King she was depressed for a week - to each their own, I guess
As for me, hmm, I loooooooove romantic comedies, but there hasn't been a good romantic comedy out there in ages. I'm talking about movies like When Harry met Sally - ( I came over here because I couldn't wait another minute to tell you that I love you- sounds awful when I write it, but you should hear the line said), While you were sleeping, When a man loves a Woman, The cutting edge- I'm talking about movies like that. There are no movies like that in the cinema anymore, so on my turn, we've been to see No Reservations, Atonement, Things we lost in the fire.....now I accept that none of these are particularly good movies, but hey I'm hampered by the choices that there are out there.
Movie night is always on a week night, cos on the weekend, people might have dates - other people - not me.....ok, that's a different blog.....
Anyways, why am I blogging about this, because tommorrow is movie night and its my turn, have no idea what to pick - looking at the options, it would seem to be between Cloverfield and I am Legend (which are Michael movies) or Over her dead body - which is billed as a romantic comedy but has awful reviews. Has anyone out there in blog world watched any of these? What do you guys think???
Tobi on the other hand likes gross out 'comedies', and I use the word comedy in the loosest sense of the word, because these things are just not funny. Please, I ask you, what's funny about fart jokes, falling down, being inappropriate, Adam Sandler?? Cos I don't get it, but Tobi does, so on his turn, we have been subjected to Click, all those dumb Will Farrell movies about ice skating, motor car driving and bull fighting- for all I know, as I never pay attention, its' just Mr Farrell in the same movie over and over again, the sports are interchangeable. The worst one recently was goodbye chuck -an apt title we thought, as we walked out midway through the movie- even he had to agree on this one. Why can't guys like deep and meaningful movies??
Ronke likes cartoons and so recently she's taken us to see the Simpsons movie, Ratatouille and Shrek 3 (which was rubbish), talking animals are her thing, so Disney was created for her, you should see her break down during finding Nemo, and I didn't know her then, but she told me that when (spoiler alert) Mufasa died in the Lion King she was depressed for a week - to each their own, I guess
As for me, hmm, I loooooooove romantic comedies, but there hasn't been a good romantic comedy out there in ages. I'm talking about movies like When Harry met Sally - ( I came over here because I couldn't wait another minute to tell you that I love you- sounds awful when I write it, but you should hear the line said), While you were sleeping, When a man loves a Woman, The cutting edge- I'm talking about movies like that. There are no movies like that in the cinema anymore, so on my turn, we've been to see No Reservations, Atonement, Things we lost in the fire.....now I accept that none of these are particularly good movies, but hey I'm hampered by the choices that there are out there.
Movie night is always on a week night, cos on the weekend, people might have dates - other people - not me.....ok, that's a different blog.....
Anyways, why am I blogging about this, because tommorrow is movie night and its my turn, have no idea what to pick - looking at the options, it would seem to be between Cloverfield and I am Legend (which are Michael movies) or Over her dead body - which is billed as a romantic comedy but has awful reviews. Has anyone out there in blog world watched any of these? What do you guys think???
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