SINGLE SARA

I haven’t had a boyfriend since Richard, and that was ages ago. Everytime I talk to my mother, she asks me “so is there anybody”? With an air verging on desperation. My poor mother, she was so looking forward to my wedding, and grandchildren. When she sits down with all her friends, they always seem to be going to their children’s weddings or something, and then they’ll ask my mum in a tone that shows they know the answer “ So is Sara still single”? Its no wonder my mother still hasn’t forgiven me for the Richard debacle. For most people in my family anyway its an old story, until one of my cousins get married, and then everyone starts remembering and starts asking me about Richard, and why did I not marry him, and blah, blah , blah. At every family wedding, I end up revisiting the same old story over and over again, so a lot of the time I try and get sent somewhere out of the country by work. I just can’t take the hassle …..

It’s not easy being single. I mean I don’t care what anybody says. You can read all the Single and loving it books, while blasting Natasha Bedingfield’s I’m single in the background, and it still sucks not to have someone to share your life with. You don’t have someone to take you to dinner, to watch all the new releases with, to talk to before and as you fall asleep. Especially when everyone out there seems to have that in their lives. It makes you think – what’s wrong with me?

And the worst thing about it is just being out there, to be hooked up by all and sundry. Relatives that live in far off countries, call me out of the blue to tell me about some amazing guy. They haven’t seen me since I was 12, yet they think they know me well enough to hook me up. Well meaning friends invite me out with hidden agendas, there’s always someone that would be just perfect for me, who never is. I’ve been set up on more blind dates than I care to remember, and I used to be able to just laugh at these things, but as you get older, it just doesn’t seem as funny, and you start to wonder whether you will ever be found by an amazing guy.

I cry out to God a lot, cos I think I gave up a man because it wasn’t your will, please don’t make me look stupid……